San Cucufato

A Galician friend told us recently about Saint Cucufato, and I think he’s worth spreading the word about. He’s one of those handy saints who can get stuff done, like St George (who heals your boils and other skin diseases) or St Joseph (who helps sell your house). What Cucufato does is, he finds things you’ve lost.

But you have to ask him the right way.¹ You get a handkerchief, and you tie a knot in it. Then you recite the following rhyme: San Cucufato, los cojones te ato, si no me lo encuentras, no te los desato. This is certain to secure his intercession, which you’ll appreciate given what it means: “St Cucufato, I tie up your balls, if you don’t find what I’ve lost I won’t untie them.”²

Notes:

Just like St Joseph has to be buried upside-down on the property, and St George… well, to be honest I didn’t google him on this one. [↪]
No I’m not making this up. [↪]

Comments

Mar 2, 2011 at 00:03 • Tetsuro

Can you ask San Cucufato why I always find what I'm looking for in the last place I look for the thing I'was looking for? I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I stop looking for it afterwards...

Mar 2, 2011 at 01:03 • S. glaber scribens

Back when I only had dial-up internet access, on the world's crappiest phone line to boot, I blu-tacked a medallion of St. Isidore of Seville to the modem. I'm convinced that he improved my download speeds. And of course my votive-offering T-shirt consecrated to the goddess Nehalennia has ensured that I have never to date drowned in the North Sea.

The online indices of patronage are brilliant, as you've clearly discovered -- I'm rather fond of Brigid of Ireland (printing presses, chicken farmers) and Therese of Lisieux (Belgian air crews, florists). As a geologist I get Saint Barbara, though I have to share her with hatmakers, brewers, fireworks, and warehouses.

Mar 2, 2011 at 03:03 • Piotr

Rough!

Mar 2, 2011 at 09:03 • tikitu

Tet: you're doing it wrong. Start by thinking of the last place you would look in... then look there first.

Sponts: I beg to differ. I don't have a votive-offering T-shirt consecrated to Nehalennia, but my not-drowing-in-the-North-Sea success rate is just as good as yours. (Law of contagion might have something to do with it though.)